Original Air Date: December 15, 1952
Quick! Get Nancy Grace to hair and makeup!
Because we open on Lucy “taking care” of a practice baby doll. It’s the creepy sort of doll that makes you fear death in a new way. Lucy holds it under her armpit, throws it around, drowns it.
Considering how much that doll looks like Satan, hold it however you want.
Original Air Date: December 1, 1952
It was 6am when we watched this week’s episode, and that theme song made me want to die. I love this show, but I don’t recommend enjoying it before 10am. It’s like setting “Trump rally” as your wake-up alarm tone.
Original Air Date: September 29, 1952
We open on Ricky sleeping in while Lucy brings coffee to the painters outside the window. For a minute there it looks like she might jump. But Ricky wants his breakfast, as in now. He saves her life.
I wish we could watch Lucy make him that breakfast, but instead we have to watch Ricky dial one of those old rotary phones. Those phones take forever. By the time he’s done, the Academy has nominated a black woman for Best Director. It literally takes centuries.
Original air date: September 15, 1952
We’re on Season 2! OMG OMG!
We open on:
Ricky: LUCY!
Lucy: Is that you, sweetie pie? Gee, I’m glad you’re home!
Ricky’s mad and Lucy’s in love. He just doesn’t deserve her.
He’s pissed because she keeps overdrawing her account. That’s because in the second season we delve into Lucy’s addictions to hookers and blow.
I feel the same as Ricky whenever I see people dressed in a shirt as ugly as Lucy’s.
(Or: The One with the Meat Jokes)
Original air date: April 28, 1952
As I said on the WTF Lucy Facebook page, we have now entered the high holy days of I Love Lucy. This week, we celebrate “The Freezer” — one of the best written sitcom episodes ever. I actually studied this episode in my first TV writing class.
Next week we’ll observe the most sacred Lucy day of the year: the day “Lucy Does a TV Commercial.” You may know it best as the Viteameatavegamin episode. However you traditionally celebrate, here’s wishing you and your families a very happy holiday. Save me some leftovers.
We open on Ricky and Lucy in the kitchen, where Ricky is once again unhappy with his breakfast.
Ricky: Just two eggs? Where’s the bacon?! They look absolutely naked!
Lucy: Well look the other way when you eat them.
(Or: Nancy the Harpist: the heartbreak episode)
**More WTFacts are at this week’s Episode Watch Party.**
We open on Lucy talking with Marge via telephone. They’re gossiping like 12-year-old cheerleaders about the fat kid in school. Poor Betty. We’ll get back to her.
Ricky wants Lucy to get off the phone, probably because with all this gossip she’s eventually going to hear about him and Fred going in together on a paid Ashley Madison account. But Lucy keeps talking:
Lucy: She didn’t! She didn’t! She didn’t! She couldn’t!
Ricky: Maybe that’s why she didn’t.
When Lucy finally hangs up, she worries what Marge is saying about her. Ricky’s like “I literally slap you around the damn house, and even I know this isn’t healthy.”
(OR: Lucy Takes a Horse-Size Birth Control Pill)
**Wanna keep up? Episode watch party!**
Ballers, bad news: Lucy is fuuuuuuuuucked. She bought a dress on sale, and now she has to “smooch Ricky into it” so she can keep it. Funny, normally you smooch people out of dresses, not into them.
Ethel leaves to “smooch Fred” into letting her keep the plunger she bought. Let’s say it together: Ethel has a shitty life.
Oh, that great deal Lucy got for the dress? It was $59.95 + tax. Today that’s $535.25 + grounds for divorce. Then she complains she has nothing to wear. WOMEN!
What Ethel doesn’t tell Fred is this plunger has a vibrating feature.
(OR: Lucy’s Statue Looked Possessed For a Reason)
Get all the WTFacts at this week’s Episode watch party!
Ballers, it’s been a hard week. We’ve all seen the photos of the demon-hobbit Lucy statue haunting the outskirts of Jamestown. Now we face an episode about spiritualism and the occult. It should go without saying you need to prepare for this post with an exorcism. I’ll wait.
…
OK, with that out of the way, here’s this week’s episode:
Ricky walks into the kitchen, and Lucy’s so distracted by a book she overfills the coffee cup.
That’s 4 out of 7 episodes opening on one of them distracted by reading materials. BE IN THE MOMENT, GUYS. Good thing they didn’t live today or they’d both be walking into the walls glued to Kimmie Schmidt playing on their iPads and missing important meetings because Candy Crush sent them a push notification.
(Or: Ricky Is Too Brain Damaged to Remind Lucy to Take Her Crazy Pills)
<<Wanna keep up? Episode watch party!>>
We’re back, Ballers. Let’s jump right in.
This episode opens in the kitchen, with Ricky ignoring Lucy. And I mean, ignoring. I’m talking liberal House reps to Netanyahu, Tea Party to climate change, Hollywood to the elderly IGNORING.
Lucy, in response, starts talking to herself. And that’s where the real problems in this episode first become clear: since the last time we saw them, Ricky and Lucy were both brain damaged from blunt force trauma to the head. There is no other explanation for the shit that’s about to go down.
WTF Lucy 