Original air date: May 12, 1952
We open on Ricky playing cards in the living room. Lucy just finished doing all the dishes, but somehow it’s Ricky who’s in a shitty mood. He doesn’t want to hang out with the Mertzes and doesn’t want to play cards.
He’s your average six-year-old at the end of summer.
Lucy: I’ll get you a gun, you can shoot yourself.
Well, that escalated quickly.
(Or: Lucy Tries to Help Trump Build a Wall)
Original air date: April 21, 1952
Ballers, did you see the debate? No, not the Republican debate. I mean the debate over who should play Ricky in the new Lucy biopic. I suppose if it can’t be me (and it can’t), one of those guys would do.
We open on Lucy fixing the flowers because her life is interesting. She’s also setting up hors d’oeuvres. (I HATE the phrase “hors d’oeuvres.” It’s impossible. I almost took up French just so I didn’t feel stupid trying to spell it. My dad calls them “horse divers.” I prefer the spelling “Whore Dervs,” which is also the name of my favorite slutty diesel engine road vehicle.)
(Or: FINALLY! Go get yours, Ethel!)
**More WTFacts are at this week’s Episode Watch Party.**
We open on Lucy setting the table for dinner and Ricky playing peekaboo because the guy legit thinks he’s married a 6 month old.
“WHOM is coming to dinner?” Ricky asks, all proud of himself like he checked fucking Grammar Girl or something. Except he clearly didn’t, because WHOM is incorrect.
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(OR: Lucy Takes a Horse-Size Birth Control Pill)
**Wanna keep up? Episode watch party!**
Ballers, bad news: Lucy is fuuuuuuuuucked. She bought a dress on sale, and now she has to “smooch Ricky into it” so she can keep it. Funny, normally you smooch people out of dresses, not into them.
Ethel leaves to “smooch Fred” into letting her keep the plunger she bought. Let’s say it together: Ethel has a shitty life.
Oh, that great deal Lucy got for the dress? It was $59.95 + tax. Today that’s $535.25 + grounds for divorce. Then she complains she has nothing to wear. WOMEN!
What Ethel doesn’t tell Fred is this plunger has a vibrating feature.
WTF Lucy 