I Love Lucy S2 E21: Lucy Changes Her Mind

Original air date: March 30, 1953

Welcome back, Ballers!

I watched this week’s episode on Hulu, and what a racket. First, they mislabel every episode with either the wrong title or wrong episode number. Then they put ads on before AND after the intro song. Two seconds in and you’re watching QVC.

But they’re free Lucy episodes, so I’ll take it. And one of those commercials was for Viking River Cruises, so I’ll cut them some slack. I’ve swooned over those cruises since I was five and I taped photos of their Travel & Leisure ads up on my bedroom wall. I’m into smooth jazz and early bedtimes and lukewarm hot tubs on the Danube with a hundred silver foxes. Old souls, you know what I’m talking about.

Continue reading

I Love Lucy S2 E20 – The Black Eye

Original Air Date: February 16, 1953

Happy New Year, Ballers!!! I thought this week’s episode was about keeping your resolutions, but I was wrong. That’s next week, and this week it’s about getting punched in the face. Which, come to think of it, is a pretty solid metaphor for 2018 so far.

So yeah, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but TW: domestic abuse. That’s right, I Love Lucy needs a trigger warning. In all seriousness, I promise there were women in 1953 who curled up sobbing after this episode. It really embodies the “WTF” that started this whole project.

For this is a tale of four idiots, a dissertation in garbage people. My husband watched the episode with me, mouth agape as mine, and just quietly asked, “How was this televised?”

Now all that said, there’s no actual abuse shown. But somehow the fact that they got around that and still found a way to haunt my daydreams makes it even worse in a way. And while I’m all for jokes, I don’t make fun of trigger warnings, and I don’t think they’re for snowflakes. Survivors shouldn’t watch this episode.

OK! FUN STUFF! Let’s get started (puts on her gas mask).

Continue reading

I Love Lucy S2 E19 – The Club Election

Original Air Date: February 16, 1953

Hey Ballers! It’s election day down in Alabama, and would you believe it? Our next episode of I Love Lucy is an election episode. In honor of my mother’s home state, I’m going to give credit to the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for bringing an election episode on election day. There is simply no other explanation for this miracle. Now let’s share some sweet tea and bitch about the new assistant pastor.

I’ll also pre-empt anyone’s fears. Yes, this is the episode where Little Ricky appears for the first time (in a bundle). No, I’m not going to make a Roy Moore-dates-babies joke. That would be obvious, exaggerated, and frankly, gross. I’m going to make a Roy Moore and malls joke instead, because that’s a hotter take.

Lastly, thoughts and prayers to all y’all voters out there today. Remember, no matter what you decide or how bad it might make you look, Alabamians invented windshield wipers and the portable electric hearing aid, and no one can ever take that away from you.

Continue reading

I Love Lucy S02 E18 – The Inferiority Complex

First Aired: Feb 2 1953


I know, you were probably worried. You probably thought, “Geez, Joanna hasn’t posted in forever. Maybe the overlords at WTF Lucy got fired for sexual harassment and the whole blog has gone up in flames, permanently charred in tawdry scandal.”

Have no fear! No one involved in this site is a creep. I mean sure, my dog humps my leg while I write, but boys will be boys, know’m saying? So you’re safe here.

Speaking of safety, I got some hate mail while I was away for “ruining this beautiful show.” THEY’RE ON TO ME. I decided while sexual harassment and assault plague every industry in the country, while black and latina women make pennies on the dollar to white men, while women are sold as slaves in Libya and Iraq and burned alive in Burma, that to fight the real fight, I’m going to bring down the greatest comedienne of all time. THAT’LL SHOW EM!

If you don’t know by now that Lucy is an icon to me and that I regularly hold myself back from praying tearfully at the feet of the I Love Lucy lunch box sitting to the right of my desk, you don’t know me at all. And if you don’t recognize we’re having a good time here, you can go Fred yourself.

Now, to the show!

Continue reading

I Love Lucy S02 E17 Lucy with vacuum Ethel with feet

I Love Lucy S02 E17 Sales Resistance

Original Air Date: January 26, 1953

I’m back!!! Thank you to everyone who wrote encouraging notes during another unexpected hiatus. I had to step away for some time to open Fox News the Musical. As always, if you’d like to keep up with any of my other projects besides WTF Lucy, check out my website and Facebook page.

And with that, we return to East 68th Street. Last episode, Lucy brought forth life. Or as this show would put it, Ricky sacrificially allowed Lucy to give birth on his behalf.

Blessed be the fruit. May the Lord open.

Continue reading

I Love Lucy S02 E16 – Lucy Goes to the Hospital

Original Air Date: January 19, 1953

Ballers, this is the first post in Trump’s America. Just as we have all birthed a giant, lady-grabbing baby, so Lucy will now birth one of her own. Grab your favorite hate crime and enjoy!

Continue reading

I Love Lucy S02 E15 – Lucy Becomes a Sculptress

Original Air Date: January 12, 1953

This is my last post of 2016, and that felt really good to type. I had thought about doing one last post on Friday 12/30, to end with a bang. (The next episode is “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” – one of the first televised storylines of its kind, and Desi’s favorite episode. It’s going to be great.)

But you know what? You can wait till 2017 for it, because this year has sucked total butt and doesn’t deserve it. It hasn’t earned a single good thing. 

Let the electoral college vote, and if they decide to bring this year something worth celebrating, I’ll post it. Otherwise, Prince is just as dead, Trump is just as elected, and I’m just as fucking done.

We open on Lucy looking at a photo album of her and Ricky’s baby photos. They use their real photos:

Continue reading

I Love Lucy S02 E14 – Ricky Has Labor Pains

Original Air Date: January 5, 1953

We’re at 1953! Another year, another round of progress we can undo over 60 years later. 

Note: this week’s episode is listed as Episode 19 on Hulu because facts are dead. It’s actually Episode 14, but that’s only according to every major TV archive and film site. If you FEEL like it’s episode 19, congratulations. You’re our new Secretary of Lucy. 

We open on Ricky, talking with Fred on the phone. Fred wants to come up and watch the game with Ricky, but he’s worried Lucy might mind because she’s getting further in her pregnancy and might not want company.

Let’s pause here and mark this moment as the first time Fred has ever been the most considerate man in the room. Fred is fucking Feminism 101 compared to the shit Ricky pulls in this episode. 

Continue reading

I Love Lucy S02 E13 – Lucy Hires an English Tutor

Original Air Date: December 29, 1952

Well, well. A lot has happened since the last post. Welcome back, ballers.

I’ve been out on the campaign trail with my dad (yeah, true story), and all I can say is it’s a mad, mad world. I’m so grateful for the messages, tweets, etc. It’s good to be back. 

Last we met, Ricky and Lucy were expecting a baby, Fred and Ethel were bickering, and we were giggling at how archaic this show feels.

Now they’re building a wall around Ricky, Fred has joined the alt-right, and Lucy’s life is all of us. 

Sigh. Let’s have at it.

Continue reading

I Love Lucy S02 E12 – Lucy’s Show Biz Swan Song

Thank you for your patience, Ballers! I’ve been MIA trying to get another project up and launched. When you’re done reading this week’s post, head on over to Red, White, and Dad. It’s a weekly comedy show following my dad’s actual presidential campaign for The Constitution Party.

And now, finally, here’s this week’s episode…

Original Air Date: December 22, 1952

We open on Ricky trying to cast a quartet but not wanting to pay for it. He wants free labor, which some of you may call “slavery” but those of us in the know call “show business.”

Fred and Ethel offer to perform as “The Merry Mertzes,” which they showed us in E09. “Merry” must be a musical term for “hostile and spouse-hating” because that’s what I think of when I see these two together. They have as much chemistry as the movie version of Christian Grey and that girl Christian’s into. No one ever talks about her so I don’t know her name, and if I ever google that shit, you’ll know it’s time to get me 24/7 care. 

Continue reading