bucket

I Love Lucy S02 E15 – Lucy Becomes a Sculptress

1 Comment

Original Air Date: January 12, 1953

This is my last post of 2016, and that felt really good to type. I had thought about doing one last post on Friday 12/30, to end with a bang. (The next episode is “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” – one of the first televised storylines of its kind, and Desi’s favorite episode. It’s going to be great.)

But you know what? You can wait till 2017 for it, because this year has sucked total butt and doesn’t deserve it. It hasn’t earned a single good thing. 

Let the electoral college vote, and if they decide to bring this year something worth celebrating, I’ll post it. Otherwise, Prince is just as dead, Trump is just as elected, and I’m just as fucking done.

We open on Lucy looking at a photo album of her and Ricky’s baby photos. They use their real photos:

Continue reading →

I Love Lucy S02 E08 – Redecorating

3 Comments

Original Air Date: November 24, 1952

We open on Ricky sleeping under a Look Magazine, which sort of cancels out the whole point of that publication.

The women are at a home show to tour model homes with beautiful new furniture. Fred says it always makes the ladies unhappy to see better homes than theirs – as opposed to bored, which is what it should make any normal human being.

But the guys know what will cheer up anyone: Tickets to opening night of the latest Rodgers and Hammerstein show.

Continue reading →

I Love Lucy S02 E05 – The Operetta

3 Comments

Original Air Date: October 13, 1952

We open on a henhouse of women going “clickety clackety.” I think the script literally said, “Jabber on about lady stuff, etc.”

But Lucy didn’t have quite as good a time as her guests.

Continue reading →

I Love Lucy S02 E03 – The Anniversary Present

1 Comment

Original Air Date: September 29, 1952

We open on Ricky sleeping in while Lucy brings coffee to the painters outside the window. For a minute there it looks like she might jump. But Ricky wants his breakfast, as in now. He saves her life.

I wish we could watch Lucy make him that breakfast, but instead we have to watch Ricky dial one of those old rotary phones. Those phones take forever. By the time he’s done, the Academy has nominated a black woman for Best Director. It literally takes centuries.

Continue reading →

I Love Lucy S01 E28 – Cuban Pals

4 Comments

(Or: Lucy Tries to Help Trump Build a Wall)

Original air date: April 21, 1952

Ballers, did you see the debate? No, not the Republican debate. I mean the debate over who should play Ricky in the new Lucy biopic. I suppose if it can’t be me (and it can’t), one of those guys would do.

We open on Lucy fixing the flowers because her life is interesting. She’s also setting up hors d’oeuvres. (I HATE the phrase “hors d’oeuvres.” It’s impossible. I almost took up French just so I didn’t feel stupid trying to spell it. My dad calls them “horse divers.” I prefer the spelling “Whore Dervs,” which is also the name of my favorite slutty diesel engine road vehicle.)

Continue reading →

I Love Lucy S01 E19 – The Ballet

2 Comments

OR: Lucy Shows Her Stems

Happy Friday, Ballers!

Enough with the chit chat.

We open on Ricky looking through a bunch of papers as the rest of the gang enters. Lucy wants him to hurry up because “the picture starts at 8:22.” That’s awfully specific. Was that really how it worked back in the 50s? No wonder people hate millennials. A millennial hears “8:22” and has a panic attack mixed with a peanut allergy.

Ricky can’t go, though. He’s having trouble finding acts. He needs a ballerina and two comics.

Continue reading →