rice

I Love Lucy S02 E03 – The Anniversary Present

1 Comment

Original Air Date: September 29, 1952

We open on Ricky sleeping in while Lucy brings coffee to the painters outside the window. For a minute there it looks like she might jump. But Ricky wants his breakfast, as in now. He saves her life.

I wish we could watch Lucy make him that breakfast, but instead we have to watch Ricky dial one of those old rotary phones. Those phones take forever. By the time he’s done, the Academy has nominated a black woman for Best Director. It literally takes centuries.

Continue reading →

I Love Lucy S02 E01 – Job Switching

1 Comment

Original air date: September 15, 1952

We’re on Season 2! OMG OMG!

We open on:

Ricky: LUCY!
Lucy: Is that you, sweetie pie? Gee, I’m glad you’re home!

Ricky’s mad and Lucy’s in love. He just doesn’t deserve her.

He’s pissed because she keeps overdrawing her account. That’s because in the second season we delve into Lucy’s addictions to hookers and blow.

S02 E01 Ricky Mad at Lucy

I feel the same as Ricky whenever I see people dressed in a shirt as ugly as Lucy’s.

Continue reading →

I Love Lucy S01 E10 – Lucy Is Jealous of Girl Singer

2 Comments

(Or: Lucy is jealous of girl dancer, because the ho never sings a note.)

**Keep up with the action. Episode watch party!**

We open on Lucy vacuuming, when Ethel comes in and surprises her, making her scream. Then Lucy – the screaming, vacuuming hypocrite – tells Ethel to be quiet because Ricky’s asleep.

Ethel doesn’t mind. She’s on a high. A schadenfruede-fueled, worst-friend-ever high. She’s giddy because the newspaper says Ricky’s cheating on Lucy with his new showgirl. You know that thrill you get when you find out your closest friend’s life is about to fall apart? Yeah me neither. But Ethel does. Ethel is a sociopath.

Lucy believes her, so she beats the shit out of Ricky with a newspaper like the slimy insect he is. He’s like, HAHAHAHA. Ricky is also a sociopath.

Ricky: I’m as faithful as an old dog.
Lucy: Yeah, old Rover.

We know your type, Ricardo:

Continue reading →