Original air date: March 30, 1953

Welcome back, Ballers!

I watched this week’s episode on Hulu, and what a racket. First, they mislabel every episode with either the wrong title or wrong episode number. Then they put ads on before AND after the intro song. Two seconds in and you’re watching QVC.

But they’re free Lucy episodes, so I’ll take it. And one of those commercials was for Viking River Cruises, so I’ll cut them some slack. I’ve swooned over those cruises since I was five and I taped photos of their Travel & Leisure ads up on my bedroom wall. I’m into smooth jazz and early bedtimes and lukewarm hot tubs on the Danube with a hundred silver foxes. Old souls, you know what I’m talking about.

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Original Air Date: February 16, 1953

Happy New Year, Ballers!!! I thought this week’s episode was about keeping your resolutions, but I was wrong. That’s next week, and this week it’s about getting punched in the face. Which, come to think of it, is a pretty solid metaphor for 2018 so far.

So yeah, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but TW: domestic abuse. That’s right, I Love Lucy needs a trigger warning. In all seriousness, I promise there were women in 1953 who curled up sobbing after this episode. It really embodies the “WTF” that started this whole project.

For this is a tale of four idiots, a dissertation in garbage people. My husband watched the episode with me, mouth agape as mine, and just quietly asked, “How was this televised?”

Now all that said, there’s no actual abuse shown. But somehow the fact that they got around that and still found a way to haunt my daydreams makes it even worse in a way. And while I’m all for jokes, I don’t make fun of trigger warnings, and I don’t think they’re for snowflakes. Survivors shouldn’t watch this episode.

OK! FUN STUFF! Let’s get started (puts on her gas mask).

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Original Air Date: February 16, 1953

Hey Ballers! It’s election day down in Alabama, and would you believe it? Our next episode of I Love Lucy is an election episode. In honor of my mother’s home state, I’m going to give credit to the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for bringing an election episode on election day. There is simply no other explanation for this miracle. Now let’s share some sweet tea and bitch about the new assistant pastor.

I’ll also pre-empt anyone’s fears. Yes, this is the episode where Little Ricky appears for the first time (in a bundle). No, I’m not going to make a Roy Moore-dates-babies joke. That would be obvious, exaggerated, and frankly, gross. I’m going to make a Roy Moore and malls joke instead, because that’s a hotter take.

Lastly, thoughts and prayers to all y’all voters out there today. Remember, no matter what you decide or how bad it might make you look, Alabamians invented windshield wipers and the portable electric hearing aid, and no one can ever take that away from you.

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First Aired: Feb 2 1953

I’M BACK, BABY!

I know, you were probably worried. You probably thought, “Geez, Joanna hasn’t posted in forever. Maybe the overlords at WTF Lucy got fired for sexual harassment and the whole blog has gone up in flames, permanently charred in tawdry scandal.”

Have no fear! No one involved in this site is a creep. I mean sure, my dog humps my leg while I write, but boys will be boys, know’m saying? So you’re safe here.

Speaking of safety, I got some hate mail while I was away for “ruining this beautiful show.” THEY’RE ON TO ME. I decided while sexual harassment and assault plague every industry in the country, while black and latina women make pennies on the dollar to white men, while women are sold as slaves in Libya and Iraq and burned alive in Burma, that to fight the real fight, I’m going to bring down the greatest comedienne of all time. THAT’LL SHOW EM!

If you don’t know by now that Lucy is an icon to me and that I regularly hold myself back from praying tearfully at the feet of the I Love Lucy lunch box sitting to the right of my desk, you don’t know me at all. And if you don’t recognize we’re having a good time here, you can go Fred yourself.

Now, to the show!

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Original Air Date: January 26, 1953

I’m back!!! Thank you to everyone who wrote encouraging notes during another unexpected hiatus. I had to step away for some time to open Fox News the Musical. As always, if you’d like to keep up with any of my other projects besides WTF Lucy, check out my website and Facebook page.

And with that, we return to East 68th Street. Last episode, Lucy brought forth life. Or as this show would put it, Ricky sacrificially allowed Lucy to give birth on his behalf.

Blessed be the fruit. May the Lord open.

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