trash can

I Love Lucy S02 E15 – Lucy Becomes a Sculptress

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Original Air Date: January 12, 1953

This is my last post of 2016, and that felt really good to type. I had thought about doing one last post on Friday 12/30, to end with a bang. (The next episode is “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” – one of the first televised storylines of its kind, and Desi’s favorite episode. It’s going to be great.)

But you know what? You can wait till 2017 for it, because this year has sucked total butt and doesn’t deserve it. It hasn’t earned a single good thing. 

Let the electoral college vote, and if they decide to bring this year something worth celebrating, I’ll post it. Otherwise, Prince is just as dead, Trump is just as elected, and I’m just as fucking done.

We open on Lucy looking at a photo album of her and Ricky’s baby photos. They use their real photos:

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I Love Lucy S01 E26 – The Marriage License

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(Or: Lucy Kisses Dating Goodbye)

**More WTFacts are at this week’s Episode Watch Party.**

We open on Lucy cleaning out the desk, and underneath the receipts for freestanding bathtubs, bellydancing costumes, and other super useless items she’s bought this month, she finds her and Ricky’s marriage license.

Lucy (reading): On this day, Lucille Esmeralda McGillicuddy was married to Ricky… Bicardi?

And in zero to sixty, Lucy enters full freakout.

You know, she’s really doing this wrong. She might be the heiress to the Bacardi fortune. That’s a LOT of money. My rum and cokes alone would cover the freestanding bathtub and then some.

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I Love Lucy S01 E08 – Men Are Messy

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(Or: Ricky Is Dicky)

<< Wanna keep up? Episode watch party!>>

We open this week on applause for the first time! Finally, the American public has figured it out: this show is fucking amazing and it’s going to change the world.

Lucy is totally OCD, straightening the already straight papers and cleaning an already clean house. Please, someone, give her something to do. THIS IS NOT AN APPROPRIATE USE OF ANYONE’S TIME.

Ah, she’s finished. What a lovely living room. Totally worth the sacrifice of your dreams. Well played.

Then Ricky comes in and poops all over everything like a spoiled brat kid who refuses to potty train and needs a damn toy trunk. He leaves trash everywhere, throws his clothes around like a clumsy stripper, and drops food scraps for the dog they don’t have.

He even cracks nuts on the floor. It doesn’t occur to him he can only do that because of how fucking clean the floor already is. Want your nuts cracked, Ricky? I’ll crack your nuts.

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