I Love Lucy S01 E08 – Men Are Messy

(Or: Ricky Is Dicky)

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We open this week on applause for the first time! Finally, the American public has figured it out: this show is fucking amazing and it’s going to change the world.

Lucy is totally OCD, straightening the already straight papers and cleaning an already clean house. Please, someone, give her something to do. THIS IS NOT AN APPROPRIATE USE OF ANYONE’S TIME.

Ah, she’s finished. What a lovely living room. Totally worth the sacrifice of your dreams. Well played.

Then Ricky comes in and poops all over everything like a spoiled brat kid who refuses to potty train and needs a damn toy trunk. He leaves trash everywhere, throws his clothes around like a clumsy stripper, and drops food scraps for the dog they don’t have.

He even cracks nuts on the floor. It doesn’t occur to him he can only do that because of how fucking clean the floor already is. Want your nuts cracked, Ricky? I’ll crack your nuts.

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I Love Lucy S01 E05 – The Quiz Show

(Or: Lucy Runs Out of Money and Dignity)

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We open on a very busy Lucy, frantically preparing her accounts to show Ricky. She’s terrified. 

Of course she is.

Ballers, I’ve been hinting at this for weeks. Our girl’s a train wreck, and someone needs to give this shopaholic an intervention or Episode 6 will be “Lucy Goes to Bankruptcy Court.”

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