(Or: Lucy is jealous of girl dancer, because the ho never sings a note.)
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We open on Lucy vacuuming, when Ethel comes in and surprises her, making her scream. Then Lucy – the screaming, vacuuming hypocrite – tells Ethel to be quiet because Ricky’s asleep.
Ethel doesn’t mind. She’s on a high. A schadenfruede-fueled, worst-friend-ever high. She’s giddy because the newspaper says Ricky’s cheating on Lucy with his new showgirl. You know that thrill you get when you find out your closest friend’s life is about to fall apart? Yeah me neither. But Ethel does. Ethel is a sociopath.
Lucy believes her, so she beats the shit out of Ricky with a newspaper like the slimy insect he is. He’s like, HAHAHAHA. Ricky is also a sociopath.
Ricky: I’m as faithful as an old dog.
Lucy: Yeah, old Rover.
We know your type, Ricardo:
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