divorce

I Love Lucy S01 E23 – The Moustache

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(Or: The Cast Puts the Bic in Transphobic)

**More WTFacts are at this week’s Episode Watch Party.**

We open on –

Sorry but no. I can’t start there. What’s with the title? I’m so sick and tired of this highfalutin, frenchified, European english.

This is ‘murca, and it’s mustache here, not “moustache.” Even my text editor just spell-corrected that commie version with the “ou.”

You want to spell things like some socialist micro-car-driving wine snob? Move to Sweden and buy an Ikea.

But when you write for television, which was founded here in the home of the free, you cut out the “o” along with humility, affordable health care, and gun control.

USA! USA! USA!

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I Love Lucy S01 E15 – Lucy Plays Cupid

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(OR: Lucy is assaulted twice, then traded on the black market.) 

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Oh my, Ballers. Where do we even start this week? I’m going to start at the beginning, but be warned: there will be a detour. I’ve been waiting for this episode, and dreading it.

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I Love Lucy S01 E02 – Be a Pal

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(Or: Ricky Is Too Brain Damaged to Remind Lucy to Take Her Crazy Pills)

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We’re back, Ballers. Let’s jump right in.

This episode opens in the kitchen, with Ricky ignoring Lucy. And I mean, ignoring. I’m talking liberal House reps to Netanyahu, Tea Party to climate change, Hollywood to the elderly IGNORING.

Lucy, in response, starts talking to herself. And that’s where the real problems in this episode first become clear: since the last time we saw them, Ricky and Lucy were both brain damaged from blunt force trauma to the head. There is no other explanation for the shit that’s about to go down.

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I Love Lucy S01 E01 – The Girls Want to Go to a Nightclub

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(Or: The Ricardos Try an Open Marriage)

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Sup, Ballers. This is it. The first episode, and the pilot post. Shall we?

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We open for the very. first. time. on Lucy and Ethel washing the dishes, where they belong. No really, though: they’re in dishwashing costumes, which look a lot like the We Can Do It work clothes, and they check each other’s dishes like it’s nuclear science. This is their boardroom. Lean In…closer to the sink.

Turns out, Monday night is Ethel and Fred Mertz’s 18-year anniversary. Ethel wants to celebrate by going to a nightclub, but Ricky (who works in a nightclub) hates nightclubs. And since Ricky is unrelated to the Mertzs and it’s not his anniversary, he obviously decides what everyone else gets to do.

Lucy, elbow deep in dish grease, bemoans how boring Ricky is:

“Ever since we said ‘I do,’ there are so many things we don’t.”

You can see where this is headed from a mile away: Lucy is a feisty redhead in her dirty thirties, and if Ricky won’t put his Copa in her cabana, she’ll find some other guy to do the deed.

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