Season 1

I Love Lucy S01 E24 – The Gossip

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(Or: Nancy the Harpist: the heartbreak episode)

**More WTFacts are at this week’s Episode Watch Party.**

We open on Lucy talking with Marge via telephone. They’re gossiping like 12-year-old cheerleaders about the fat kid in school. Poor Betty. We’ll get back to her.

Ricky wants Lucy to get off the phone, probably because with all this gossip she’s eventually going to hear about him and Fred going in together on a paid Ashley Madison account. But Lucy keeps talking:

Lucy: She didn’t! She didn’t! She didn’t! She couldn’t!
Ricky: Maybe that’s why she didn’t.

When Lucy finally hangs up, she worries what Marge is saying about her. Ricky’s like “I literally slap you around the damn house, and even I know this isn’t healthy.”

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I Love Lucy S01 E23 – The Moustache

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(Or: The Cast Puts the Bic in Transphobic)

**More WTFacts are at this week’s Episode Watch Party.**

We open on –

Sorry but no. I can’t start there. What’s with the title? I’m so sick and tired of this highfalutin, frenchified, European english.

This is ‘murca, and it’s mustache here, not “moustache.” Even my text editor just spell-corrected that commie version with the “ou.”

You want to spell things like some socialist micro-car-driving wine snob? Move to Sweden and buy an Ikea.

But when you write for television, which was founded here in the home of the free, you cut out the “o” along with humility, affordable health care, and gun control.

USA! USA! USA!

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I Love Lucy S01 E22 – Fred and Ethel Fight

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(Or: FINALLY! Go get yours, Ethel!)

**More WTFacts are at this week’s Episode Watch Party.**

We open on Lucy setting the table for dinner and Ricky playing peekaboo because the guy legit thinks he’s married a 6 month old. 

“WHOM is coming to dinner?” Ricky asks, all proud of himself like he checked fucking Grammar Girl or something. Except he clearly didn’t, because WHOM is incorrect.
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I Love Lucy S01 E21 – New Neighbors

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(Or: War is a force that gives us meaning)

**More WTFacts are at this week’s Episode Watch Party.**

We open on the living room window, which we’ve never seen before. Lucy and Ethel are snooping on the new neighbors moving in while Ricky demands his breakfast. I’m not sure which is ruder.

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I Love Lucy S01 E20 – The Young Fans

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(Or: Stalking can be fun!)

**Get the background story at this week’s Episode Watch Party.**

Happy 20th episode, Ballers! We open on Lucy reading a New York Times about Hitler.

Actually, the person on the cover is Gen. Sir Gerald Templer, who was put in charge of British forces in 1952 during the “Malayan Emergency.” But, being Jewish, I can’t go five sentences without mentioning Hitler.

Lucy is a highly educated woman with a strong handle on world affairs... as long as Ricky's not looking.

Lucy is a highly educated woman with a strong handle on world affairs… as long as Ricky’s not looking.

Ricky comes in totally creeped out by a perverted teenage psychopath named Peggy. She lives next door, she’s “like a spook,” and she’s legit stalking him. Lucy thinks it’s hilarious, and reminds Ricky that teenage girls are totally unreasonable.

I used to have a massive crush on Ricky myself, and considering he was a) fictional and b) 80 years old by that point, I have to side with Lucy on this.

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I Love Lucy S01 E19 – The Ballet

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OR: Lucy Shows Her Stems

Happy Friday, Ballers!

Enough with the chit chat.

We open on Ricky looking through a bunch of papers as the rest of the gang enters. Lucy wants him to hurry up because “the picture starts at 8:22.” That’s awfully specific. Was that really how it worked back in the 50s? No wonder people hate millennials. A millennial hears “8:22” and has a panic attack mixed with a peanut allergy.

Ricky can’t go, though. He’s having trouble finding acts. He needs a ballerina and two comics.

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I Love Lucy S01 E18 – Breaking the Lease

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(Or: Lucy and Ricky do something together for once)

Welcome back, my dear Ballers. I’ve missed you like Ethel misses singlehood. Let’s dive in.

We open on our typical Ricardo-Mertz double date. Everyone’s standing around the piano singing “I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad.” Freud’s like, “Yeah, I know! I’ve been saying this for decades!”

Those lyrics are creepy as hell. Here’s the first verse of that song (emphasis mine):

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I Love Lucy S01 E017 – Lucy Writes a Play

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(Or: Lucy writes two plays)

**Get the WTFacts here first!**

OMG, Ballers. OMG OMG. This week Lucy writes a play. And when I’m not making the big bucks writing Lucy satire, I have a lucrative career as a playwright.

This is going to be so. much. fun.

We open on Lucy surrounded by books and a typewriter. It looks like “Lucy Goes to Medical School” but that episode never happened because it would have been a break in natural law.

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I Love Lucy S01 E16 – Lucy Fakes Illness

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(Or: 26 minutes of terrible psychiatric advice)

**Get Your WTFacts Here!**

Hi, Ballers! I’m so excited for this week. For the first time in a while, this week’s episode doesn’t involve any serious abuse or torture. Well Fred tortures a few jokes, but that’s about it.

It DOES however, involve unapologetic, unrelenting false information about the human brain. Let’s break down this breakdown.

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I Love Lucy S01 E15 – Lucy Plays Cupid

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(OR: Lucy is assaulted twice, then traded on the black market.) 

**Wanna keep up? Episode Watch Party!**

Oh my, Ballers. Where do we even start this week? I’m going to start at the beginning, but be warned: there will be a detour. I’ve been waiting for this episode, and dreading it.

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