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I Love Lucy S01 E08 – Men Are Messy

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(Or: Ricky Is Dicky)

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We open this week on applause for the first time! Finally, the American public has figured it out: this show is fucking amazing and it’s going to change the world.

Lucy is totally OCD, straightening the already straight papers and cleaning an already clean house. Please, someone, give her something to do. THIS IS NOT AN APPROPRIATE USE OF ANYONE’S TIME.

Ah, she’s finished. What a lovely living room. Totally worth the sacrifice of your dreams. Well played.

Then Ricky comes in and poops all over everything like a spoiled brat kid who refuses to potty train and needs a damn toy trunk. He leaves trash everywhere, throws his clothes around like a clumsy stripper, and drops food scraps for the dog they don’t have.

He even cracks nuts on the floor. It doesn’t occur to him he can only do that because of how fucking clean the floor already is. Want your nuts cracked, Ricky? I’ll crack your nuts.

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I Love Lucy S01 E06 – The Audition

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(Or: Lucy Pursues Her Lifelong Dream of Fetching Ricky’s Slippers)

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Why hello, Ballers. I didn’t see you there. Shall we?

This week we open on Ricky sleeping in because he works late at a nightclub and absolutely not because the writers are stereotyping Cuban-Americans. 

Lucy comes in beautiful and ready to face the day. We can assume she’s been up since 7am and has already vacuumed, mopped, and prepared breakfast from scratch. Ricky will not care.

To wake Ricky up, she plays “Babalu” on the conga drum. This is the first time we hear Desi’s signature song on the show, and I’m pretty sure he’s super pissed she gets to sing it before him. At least that might explain why he’s about to be such a total asshole. 

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I Love Lucy S01 E05 – The Quiz Show

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(Or: Lucy Runs Out of Money and Dignity)

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We open on a very busy Lucy, frantically preparing her accounts to show Ricky. She’s terrified. 

Of course she is.

Ballers, I’ve been hinting at this for weeks. Our girl’s a train wreck, and someone needs to give this shopaholic an intervention or Episode 6 will be “Lucy Goes to Bankruptcy Court.”

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